My Gay Toronto - 416 Scene

Bent beauty supreme

There are seven stunning contestants vying for the title of Toronto Bent Beauty Supreme in what is dubbed “A Busted Beauty Pagaent.” The competition will be fierce, the competitors even fiercer. Two of the contestants took time out of their busy glamour-filled schedules – it takes a lot of work to look this good and be this legendary – to share their thoughts on the trumping-Trump’s Miss USA and leaving RuPaul’s drag of a Drag Race in the dust, extravaganza. An extravaganza with heart: it is a fundraiser for Rainbow Railroad, a non profit organization that assists "LGBT people as they seek haven from state-enabled or tolerated murder, violence or persecution."

Contestant Fay Slift is a ladybear extraordinaire and brings glitz and high hairy style to every stage she graces or nightclub she rampages in. James and the Giant Pasty is the founding member of BoylesqueTO and his satirical skill just accentuate his spectacular hunky sexiness. These are their thoughts about competing to become even more legendary than they already are.

Why do you deserve to be crowned Toronto’s Bent Beauty Supreme? Any competitors you’d like to trash talk?

Fay Slift: I feel that all the contestants are legendary and each one of us are bent beauties in our own right. I feel honoured to share the stage with these fine folks and I send my love and adoration to all. But if a bitch crosses me, watch out! I want that fucking crown and I will do anything to get it on my coif, even if it means ripping it off the weave of my competitors. They better get their hair staple gunned onto their pretty little heads. 

James and the Giant Pasty: Because I’m fierce. And because I’m willing to do whatever it takes: think marbles, Showgirls, etc. Actually, I looked at the competitor list and was wowed by the unique beauty and talent of everyone participating.  I hope I win and I think I bring my own brand of intelligent, fierce, hairy, sexy, sweet beauty that can help me win. But I think Toronto is the real winner with this competition with all of the beautiful and amazingly talented competitors. 

I’d also like to tell Belle Jumelles to hold on to her dollar-store weave cuz that bitch is going down. Oh, and Manchyna, I’ma cut you if you get between me and that tiara.

How did you first become aware of Rainbow Railroad and their work?

My friend Lauren Hortie tuned me onto the important work that Rainbow Railroad is doing. Although we are fortunate in Canada to have laws which protect the rights of queer people, the world is still a hostile place. I feel that it is important that we support those who are most vulnerable. I am glad that I am able to put on a bathing suit and help raise money for such a necessary organization. I mean it is fucking disgusting that the world we live in is so horrible. I hope there will be a time when organizations like this don't need to exist, but until that time I will do my best to support causes which draw attention to the plight of queers throughout the world. It's unfortunate that in this day and age we need to still fight for our rights and our safety. The world needs to get its shit together.

I hadn’t heard about Rainbow Railroad before I was asked to participate in this event. But I was very happy to learn that an organization like Rainbow Railroad exists.  They do extremely important work extricating LGBTQ people from countries where it is illegal and unsafe to be an LGBTQ person. It’s easy for us in Canada to take for granted that we can be open about our sexuality without fear of state sponsored persecution. But, in places like Iran and Jamaica where homosexual acts are punishable by imprisonment or even death, Rainbow Railroad can literally be a lifesaver and one of the only avenues to a life free of fear and persecution.  I am extremely happy that all of the proceeds from this event will be going towards them. 

The cash prize is $500. What would you do with that sum? What’s the worst (best?) thing you’ve done in the past for $500?  What would you be willing to do for $500?

Well, I would actually donate the cash prize to Rainbow Railroad. They deserve it and they need it. I would do that crown justice. In regards to the best or the worst that I have done for $500, well a classy broad like me never kisses and tells. 

In regards to what I would be willing to do, hmmm . . . wash toilets at the Toronto bus terminal, eat a whole shrimp ring, wear a dress made out of expired luncheon meat, dance like no one is watching, or even do day drag which, by the way, is fucking terrifying. Truth be told, I'd do all that shit anyway for lunch at the food court at Gerrard Square. I have some standards.

I’m not doing this for the money.  I’m doing this for the title of Bent Beauty Supreme, and theaccompanying fame and bragging rights. And to support Rainbow Railroad. So, as nice as it would be to have an extra $500 in my pocket, if I win the tiara will be enough for me. I will be donating the full $500 to Rainbow Railroad. 

What question are you praying they won’t ask during the Q&A?

There really isn't anything I’m worried they'd ask. I'll tell them my weight, my age, favourite dip.  I do hope they ask me to re-enact something from the Miss Teen USA Pageant or Miss Universe. There are some real cringeworthy responses that deserve to be brought back to life.

James and the Giant Pasty declined to reveal his rare vulnerable spot.

Obviously you have the swimsuit category sewn up. How bare are you going to dare?

Well I believe less is more. So I will be paying homage to the likes of Divine from Female Trouble, or Dawn French in her remastering of Baywatch, or Shelley Winters in Poseidon Adventure or even Momma June from Honey Boo Boo. I love me a full bodied lady in a bathing suit and I want the judges to see all my hairy goodness. I will be the Bo Derek of the voluptuous set.

Surprisingly, I may not go that bare with the swimsuit category, but don’t worry—I’ve got something delightfully scandalous planned for formal wear.

The talent portion should be a cinch for you as well, but will you be using any of your special talents to influence the judges?

Knowing the words to the songs I lip synch is one of my best talents, serving FACE is the other! I will be giving winks and wiggles! I can charm the diapers off the elderly, so watch out. The biggest influence on me is winning that fucking crown!

Special talents?  Whatever could you be talking about?  Are you implying that I might try to bribe the judges with my ASSets?

How safe will it be to be on stage with host Keith Cole? Is he the new Ryan Seacrest?

No one is safe when Keith Cole is on the stage.

Comparing Keith Cole to Ryan Seacrest is like comparing balls to oranges.

Well, my clothes do seem to come off at an alarming rate when I’m onstage with Keith Cole, but I guess that’s not THAT different from normal.  And there does seem to be a lot of ogling, but it’s good-natured ogling, right?

Is it an honour just to be nominated?

Absolutely! It's an honour to be included. Finally others will see that beauty ain't just for skinny bitches. Carny Folk Bearded Lady Beauty is hot, hot, hot! That should have a #hashtag.

I didn’t come here to be nominated or to make friends.  I came here to win. But, in allseriousness, I was super happy to be asked to participate in this pageant.  I love the idea of the Bent Beauty Supreme Pageant representing all types of beauty—not just those traditionally associated with beauty pageants.  And I’m very honored to be able to show off my own unique brand of beauty.

Gratuitous plug: What are your upcoming events?

I will be at a new monthly for Dwayne Minard and Brian Duval at The Boat in Kensington Market on Friday, November 29th. It's an all disco night, this month we will be inspired by the ‘70s classic, Love Boat! I also have a couple of private Christmas parties for December: one for the architecture firm Yabu Pushelberg and another for the Triggerfish Gay Water polo team! I am super excited to be invited to perform. I'm so excited I could wee!

I’ll be performing Wednesday, November 6 at the Rivoli for Reveal Me and then Sunday, November 10 at Rancho Relaxo for To Russia With Love, a benefit for ALL OUT's campaign for homosexual equality in Russia. I’ll be performing the day after the Bent Beauty Supreme Pageant in Montreal at the Wiggle room with Acme Burlesque – that’s on Saturday, November 16. Then Sunday, November 17, I’m at the burlesque brunch in Ottawa at Maxwell’s.

Toronto Bent Beauty Supreme is on Fri, Nov 15 at The Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St W.