Alyson Calagna in Toronto for Pride

23
JUN

DEEPER DISH
by Rolyn Chambers
Community for queer women

23
JUN

HOT TOPICS
WILD WOMEN Electrify Pride!

21
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
Colour my world

19
JUN

BeLLINI 8 1/2
by Paul Bellini
The No So Secred Petty Pride Police Float Proposal

19
JUN

DEEPER DISH
by Rolyn Chambers
Catching up with DJ Barry Harris

18
JUN

DEEPER DISH
by Rolyn Chambers
Equity March for Unity and Pride

18
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
Kazwell Bring Femme Back

17
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
Stupefaction

17
JUN

MGT STAGE
by Drew Rowsome
Daniel Decot

16
JUN

HOT TOPICS
Short, sweet and gay

15
JUN

BeLLINI 8 1/2
by Paul Bellini
The Lavender Railroad

11
JUN

MGT STAGE
by Drew Rowsome
It Takes a Village

11
JUN

BeLLINI 8 1/2
by Paul Bellini
Battle Over Condo Erections

10
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
Showstopper

9
JUN

MGT STAGE
by Drew Rowsome
Stewart Legere at Buddies

8
JUN

416 Scene
by Drew Rowsome
I forgot to get in shape!

8
JUN

PUMPED
Before and After Mapplethorpe

7
JUN

WE RECCOMEND
Fashionably
bare-assed

7
JUN

HOT TOPICS
Hot, Wet & Full Of Pide

6
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
The Queen of Musical Theatre: ALLAN CARR

1
JUN

RAY'S ANATOMY
by Raymond Helkio
MGT Daily Events
MGT Hot Events
MGT List Your Event
My Gay Toronto - Bellini's 8 1/2

The Man Who Would Be King:
Trumpocalypse Now


Donald Trump is popular because he says really obvious things. When he says something like “I don’t like the look of this," or “This is going to be really, really bad,” it’s almost like my grandmother is running for president. Donald Trump has the wisdom of a daffy senior who frowns at local news. And yes, my grandmother would make a better president. 

Donald Trump, The Man Who Would Be King is a new book by Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince of Blood Moon Productions. It is massive, a 766 page exploration of the life and times of America’s favorite bullshitter. It is never less than fascinating. The DPs have a way of digging up the most arcane information from both the news media and the tabloids. Did you know that a guy named Fernando Sosa from Florida created a Trump Butt Plug? “I like the mental picture of Donald going into people’s asses,” he said. 

It’s all here in this one big book. The fights with Leona Helmsley, Rosie O’Donnell and Merv Griffin. The three hot wives and the five entitled kids. The courtship of Lady Di. The golf courses, the casinos, the hotels, the TV appearances, the magazine covers, the beauty pageants, all the failed businesses and that pathetic university. There’s even that legendary Scott Baio tweet that shows Hillary Clinton posing in front of a banner reading “Count," except her head is blocking the ‘o.' There is also a picture of the mural in Lithuania depicting Trump frenchkissing Putin, and my own favourite, a lawn sign declaring “Everybody Sucks 2016 - The U.S. is doomed."

The first half of the book is biographical history. The second half details the endless election run that began over a year ago. Trump wisely appealed to idiots with his far right rhetoric, only to soften it once he was secure in his power. He’ll say anything anyone wants to hear, just to win the election. (Yet how different is that from any other candidate?) Many people are anticipating a ‘Trumpocalypse’ if he wins. Everyone should just calm down. Trump, the phony who puts profit above all else, just wants to be president for its own sake. No wall will ever be built. No problem will ever be solved. It will be four years of state dinners and sexy Melania photo ops with no real policies and no real activity. “Make America the Same Again.” Some have even suggested that he is secretly working to destroy the GOP and maybe even get Hillary elected. 

The book is timed for maximum release, just two months before the election. If you think the DPs are not fair and balanced, then you should also read their previous release, Bill & Hillary: So This Is That Thing Called Love. It’s clear that the Americans only have a choice between Godzilla or Megalon. 

However, the real nightmare will occur after November 8, when the title of the book might have to be changed to “The Man Who Actually Is King." Everybody Sucks 2016 indeed.

 


22