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Scrotox: great balls of desire
by Drew Rowsome

Body shaming reached a new low with the introduction of the scrotex procedure. As if keeping our pecs pumpedwaists trim, body hair plucked, and worrying that our penises aren't large enough to pop visually, now we are to be concerned that our scrotums are sagging, wrinkled or drooping. And if they are: injections of botox.

Upon reading the first article, I checked to make sure there wasn't a label reading "satire" somewhere. After all in 2010 Saturday Night Live aired a fake commercial where Alec Baldwin played a doctor who touted a similar procedure to reduce scrotum wrinkles, "A botulism toxin that we shoot straight into your scrotum." Of course Baldwin is also famous for the comedic "Schwetty Balls" series of skits.

And that appears to be the biggest benefit of having botox injected into your scrotum: the reduction of sweat collecting in one's jockstrap, bicycle shorts, yoga pants, tighty whities, designer underwear or churned-up sheets. As Mark Norfolk, clinical director of the British chain of plastic surgery clinics Transform, explains, 

In terms of results, injecting Botox into the scrotum may help with any sweating issues, but won’t have much of an effect on wrinkles. There is lots of loose skin on this part of the body, that an injectible treatment just can’t shift.

We all pretend that facial wrinkles are signs of character, but I had really never considered that my scrotum might be revealing my age instead of expressing my life experiences. And perhaps there are some very unattractive scrotums out there, the product of neglect, lack of exercise/ejaculation, excessive cbt, saline injections, pumping, or weight loss leaving loose skin. But if scrotex will not do a wholesale rejuvenation, what will?

The Pacific Plastic Surgery Group in San Francisco offers scrotoplasty performed by Dr Miranda.

Scrotal reduction/tightening (also known as Scrotoplasty) is a routine out-patient procedure to treat over-stretched scrotal skin and muscle to reduced the appearance and/or discomfort of sagging. Our male patients who previously felt self-conscious often feel relieved after scrotoplasty and have more sexual self-confidence. After the surgery you may feel a little sore for a couple of days, but both the swelling and discomfort will diminish within the first 1-2 weeks. Ice packs can help to relieve swelling or bruising.

Toronto's Dr Michael Kreidstein, MD, MSc, FRCS(C) has a website that has before and after photos though they are nowhere as dramatic as the results from the myriad other procedures his clinic offers. And before getting sarcastic about the vanity involved in having one's scrotal sac tightened, read the message board posting at thundersplace.org ("The big penis and mens' sexual health source, increasing penis size around the world")

I had a lot of loose, excess skin, FROM PE [penis enlargement]. And yes I did PE properly, but you end up with a lot of loose scrotal skin, and skin above the exit point. It was annoying, excessive, and looked like ‘dog ears’ around my penis. Not good appearance either. I have been looking into, and investigating this for over 2 years. This was not a jump the gun decision. Looked for the best, most affordable, and experienced surgeons.
Excess skin around the shaft and scrotum was removed. Along with tacking stitches/sutures at the base of my penis, to keep the pubic-area skin from ‘sliding’ down the shaft, keep it pinned back.
It cost $6,000.00
I got quotes from 4500 to 8500.
My package looked dreadful the day of/after surgery. Package swelled up like grapefruits, swelling, bleeding, and bruising was excessive. Iced non stop and did my pain meds, infection meds, and cleaning instructions religiously.
After 2 weeks, I was getting around pretty well, odd nerve sensations created some uncomfortable feelings once the swelling started going away. Didn’t get cleared til 1 month post op to do exercising or weight lifting.
So far, I am happy I got the operation. I was sick of what PE did to my unit esthetically, so I fixed the issue. And now, I’m not worrying about it anymore, like I did, everyday for years.

Some plastic surgeons are doing the lord's work.

But if you just want a touch up or to "decrease sweating, make the scrotum appear larger and reduce wrinkles," for around $4,000, botox injections are available. At a much darker point in my life, I worked briefly for a cosmetic surgery magazine that existed in order to convince women that their various body parts were not up to scratch and needed altering. Dr Jason Emer, a Beverley Hills-based dermatologist, writes in Cosmetic Surgery Times,

I have many younger male patients who are interested in this. As the vaginal rejuvenation market is skyrocketing, men are seeking their own type of rejuvenation. Who wouldn’t want to be a little bit longer, thicker, or have more sensitivity and a better sex life? These men are also becoming interested in the cosmetic appearance of the actual penis and scrotum itself.

Closer to home, Mount Sinai hospital is doing clinical trials in using botox to treat men with scrotal pain due to testicular blockage or injuries. 

We hypothesized that Botox injections to block the testicular nerve will be effective in providing long term pain relief.

Botox does temporarily poison and deaden nerves and I'm personally a little nervous about the idea of losing sensation in my balls or winding up with a scrotum as inexpressive as an aging starlet's Botoxed face, but to each his own. And when I regard the wrinkly sack dangling between my legs, despite all the pleasure it has given me over the years, it is hard not to wonder what it would be like to see it polished, smooth and swollen to a larger size. If I get to the point where I am reminded of "dog ears," I'll start saving up the $4,000, but in the meantime I'll just let the natural retraction at the terrifying prospect of a needle being inserted into my balls do the smoothing.

 


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