Last minute Christmas gifts: Wobbling Willy, Edible Anuses and BBJ- tidbits - MyGayToronto
Last minute Christmas gifts: Wobbling Willy, Edible Anuses and BBJ By DREW ROWSOME 16 December 2017.
Christmas is almost upon us and those who haven't finished shopping need to get snapping. The malls are packed but online shopping has become more efficient so, with a bit of typing and a not overextended credit card, there are still some possibilities.
For someone intimate who you want to never forget you - NOT someone you are not intimate with, you don't want to be a disgraced Matt Lauer. Or even a Mario Batali who had to apologize with a pizza dough cinnamon bun recipe (stay tuned for Kevin Spacey's favourite way to serve chicken) - there is the fabulous Wobbling Willy. Yes, a photograph of the face of you or a loved one or a fantasy figure (with the later we're again in dicey territory as most respectable male porn stars already have a moulded likeness for sale) can become 3D and be grafted on the shaft of a beautiful festive dildo.
Not only a distinctive gift but a considerable ego-stroker if you use your own likeness atop the (probably) unlikeness. They will never forget you. And even Gramma might be eternally grateful for a version - not of you, that would be disturbing for most octogenarians even tenuously related - featuring handsome sophisticate Ian McKellen or fiesty Ed Asner or even that cute whippersnapper Justin Bieber who dreams of being a whopping Wobbling Willy. The practical toys can be ordered for $99 at wobblingwilly.com requiring only a clear .jpg and a credit card. However the item is so popular that orders can't be guaranteed for Christmas Day but one can get a headstart on Valentine's Day.
Coming at your last minute shopping from the other end, chocolates are always a welcome gift. And if they are moulded in the shape of your peerless pucker, who could resist giving them a lick? Edible Anus has generically cast butt beauties but your giftee might recognize the fraud turning a personalized posterior present into merely a delicious novelty item. Or perhaps an invitation.
For those very proud of their buttholes but not necessarily of having them eaten, the moulds can also be cast in solid bronze or solid silver. To be treasured forever instead of being digested before sliding past your loved/lusted after one's own butthole. The derriere delights can be ordered directly from edibleanus.com or their list of licensed resellers.
What could be more unique than a gift from BBJ - Barbie's Basement Jewellry? As they proclaim, quite correctly, "Every One Is Different." Icons and camp icons and beloved pop culture figures are transformed into glittery gorgeous ornaments, jewellery, candles, belt buckles and extraordinary items of home decor. In the unlikely event that you can't find exactly what your loved one will love, custom orders are welcome though, don't forget, Christmas is barrelling down upon us and the BBJ team is fast and fabulous but still human. Literally thousands of perfect gifts can be ordered at bbj.ca.
BBJ will even help you out if you've given up. Just light a Saint Joan candle - being careful NOT to say her name three times in a mirror - and pray to the patron saint of gayness for forgiveness for being a lousy gift-giver despite all the help that MGT has already offered.