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The new year's nudes are mouth watering

by Drew Rowsome

It's that time of year again! 2015 will give way to 2016 and it will be time for a new calendar, a new (or nude) piece of art for one's wall.

There are calendars of kittens, puppies, divas, movie stars, genre flicks, planes, trains and automobiles, etc, etc, etc. But of particular interest are the homoerotic calendars, the ones where hot men strip down for charitypolitics or profit.

As usual The Warwick Rowers have not only a titillatingly stellar calendar but also a very slick yet adorable promotional campaign.

The Nashville Grizzlies rugby team have gone from erotic black and white to sepia and shadow-drenched colour, courtesy of photographer Chris Malone, for their 2016 calendar.

Not to be outdone the Seattle Quake Rugby Football Club continue on their camp but hot mission with a calendar that riffs on Norman Rockwell and Americana. Nostalgia never looked so naughty.

Hunky Keegan Hirst, the first British professional Rugby League player to come out while still playing, lost no time in stripping out of his uniform for the fundraising calendar for his team, The Batley Bulldogs.

The 2016 edition of the wildly successful New York City Taxi Drivers Calendar shows a sense of humour and style that Uber will never match. Funds from the cabbie calendar go to University Settlement, "America’s oldest settlement house (1886), based in New York City and serving over 30,000 immigrant and working individuals and families every year with basic services like quality education, housing, and literacy programs."

Photographer Thomas Knight continues his quest to further normalize and establish the fetishization of gingers with the 2016 Red Hot calendar. Funds raised go to various anti-bullying charities and "Kick a Ginger" days are already a thing of the past now that Knight's artistry has turned every day into "Wanna Fuck a Ginger" day.

Alas the Canadian, and even hotter, version of The Warwick Rowers - The Gentlemen of Otonabee - do not appear to be following up their sold out success of last year. However there are still prints available of the Peterborough rowing teams best moments of 2015: "Mr August" and "Locker Room."

With all these calendars doing so much good while inspiring such prurient thoughts and desires, it seems almost churlish to mention more commercial endeavours. However Colt and Chippendales did pave the way for the objectification of the male body, so let's give them a shout out. If not for the previous efforts of profit-driven porny producers, fundraising would be a lot more work that getting naked in front of a camera. 

BBJ Pop-Up Gift Shop is on Thurs, Dec 10 at Eleven, 11 Irwin Ave from 7-10pm. bbj.ca

Frost Bite is on Sun, Dec 13 at Pia Bouman School for Ballet and Creative Movement, 6 Noble St. plastikwrap.com

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